The Frost Diaries: By Nick D'Angelo, Chapter 2

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Chapter 2: A Curse Unbroken

 

May my eyes be blessed with sight, my mind be blessed with light. Might my heart beat true to life, and my lips never speak of spite. 

 

And then, just as I was about to enter a downward spiral of endless self-pity, while looking out into the deep and endless sea. A cold chill ran through me. I realized i was entirely alone. The chatter of feet, the beeping of horns and the squealing of car brakes had ceased. I had made my way to a place within this seemingly endless city, where there weren’t any people around, a feat i didn’t know was possible. This is when I heard footsteps coming toward me. Typically there was always someone around, so you didn’t think much about hearing footsteps. And you didn’t worry much, because you always felt like people were close by, or at least near you if anything were to happen. But these footsteps sounded quick and determined. Out of the corner of my eye, the silhouette of a brooding large man coming straight towards me was apparent. I also suddenly realized I wasn’t in view of anything, besides the towering building a hundred feet away. As I stood alone on the concrete walkway banking the river, I began to panic! I wondered if I looked like someone who had money, or something to take. Maybe this man wanted more, I started to think of all the terrible outcome this could possibly lead to.

 

He was coming towards me a bit faster now, maybe only 20 steps away. He seemed to be on a mission. As he stepped beneath a flickering street lamp it illuminated his dull figure, I could notice that he looked clearly homeless. He wore an old blue knit hat and an oil stained brown jacket, a pair of old loose jeans draped over dirty sneakers. At all costs I avoided looking directly in the man’s direction, I tried to find a quick escape route glancing the other way. Maybe if i ignored him he would go away i thought.

 

I could hear a busy overpass about a football field away, now that I was focusing i could make out the sound of the bustling cars and tires as they slapped the cold asphalt, the trumpeting gears of a large semi truck, echoed off of the concrete and stone. Before i could even contemplate what i was doing I started to run. That’s when I heard the man’s feet begin to move faster, he began running also. I turned my head quickly to look at him, the moment my eyes met his he yelled, “Stop!”. And then I stopped, I didn’t know why I stopped but I stopped. Maybe I knew deep down, even if I got to the overpass, nobody driving on the street below would notice me. No matter how loud I screamed or how fast I could wave my arms for help, there was no way over all the commotion in this city, that anyone would see. I was trapped.

 

 “I don’t want to hurt you, just give me your things!” the man said, in a deep desperate voice, confirming my fears. I felt slightly relieved at that, because I wasn’t going to be killed or worse, I thought. Yet I was still shaking as I turned to him, he was an aged man, with dark skin and an unkempt beard, his facial hair growing nearly up to his eyes. I couldn’t even see his lips through the mess growing from his face, but he was large. Much larger than me, towering over my 5’ 4” body.  He was close enough to me now, the smell of booze and garbage radiating from him. “Give me your money and your things, I don’t want to hurt you I just need it!” he demanded, slurring his words. I said nothing as he stood only 5 feet from me now, his hand extended. Both of us were now stopped in our tracks facing each other. 

 

“Right Now!” he barked, then paused. “Hurry just give it to me and you can go, don’t make me take it from you.” he added in irritation. His voice was deep and commanding.

 

He repeated himself and began shaking his mitten-covered hand, but I was frozen with fear. The only movement I could muster was to shake, i wasn’t sure if it was from the fear or the freezing cold. After a half second which felt like an hour, I managed to take my phone out of my pocket. Shortly followed by my little black purse bag which had a few dollars in it, my debit card, some change and a couple membership cards I had collected. I couldn’t even control my shivering at this point. I handed my things over to the man. He snatched them quickly with his gloved hands, then with his teeth, removed one black mitten and began inspecting my phone. After looking it over he tossed it on the ground at my feet, the sound of it hitting the ground startled me and I jumped, making a distressed yelp noise in reaction. He looked back up at me again, “take off your gloves and show me your hands.” He shouted with intensity, then looking around, as he grew more nervous. I hadn’t reacted quickly enough for his liking, so he looked around once more before yelling, “Do it now!” In this moment, as I glanced around, I had wondered why the city was so dead, especially on Valentines night. Maybe that’s why it was so dead here, everyone had been out and about on romantic dinner dates somewhere, dates like one I should have been on right now.

 

I took off my gloves and threw them to the ground, not for any particular reason, I was just scared and reacting at my core level now, not thinking of what was happening. I was wearing a promise ring on my finger that James had given me a few months before. It was silver with an amethyst gem that matched my birthstone color, but nothing of any real value. This time the man physically grabbed it off of my finger, becoming more aggressive as he was growing impatient now. He started realizing he has kept me captive here long enough for someone to see. I’d hoped someone would see me, even though i wasn’t religious I silently prayed for it. Maybe from any of the hundreds of windows towering above us, somebodies eyes would fall upon the event happening below. Though if anyone was looking on, how could they not be mesmerized at the stunning ocean scene beside us. I felt petrified and helpless, now just wishing for a savior.

 

I jumped back when he grabbed at my hand for the ring, causing him to become more progressively angry. He ripped it from my finger and inspected it, “Ah, What else is there!” he said firmly. Throwing the ring into the river as if unsatisfied, As his demeanor grew more paranoid by the second. “WHAT ELSE!” he now commanded, louder than he had before. The man looked around once again to check his surroundings, then back at me. “Nothing! I don’t have anything, please don’t hurt me!” I whimpered, shaking my head from right to left, my voice clearly cracking with fear. In that moment, the slight glimmer of my necklace chain must have caught his eye, because I noticed his glance travel downward.

 

“Gimme the necklace, you lying bitch!” he shouted, now furious. “No!” I answered with more confidence, stepping back. The second I rejected the idea of giving it to him, he pushed me hard against the railing behind me. The steel rail was the only thing that separated us from the cold black waters of the Hudson river. His strength was intense, knocking the wind out of me as i became pinned. I couldn’t breathe while he pushed his body weight into me, I was between the steel railing and him. He shuffled to put my money pouch into his jacket pocket, as his forearm was pressing hardly against my chest. Though the necklace hadn’t been worth much money, it was probably the most important object I owned, I’d never even taken it off unless i had to. The man reached under my shirt as to grab the necklace, but his hand seemed to change coarse moving beneath my bra, grabbing my breast, fondling it he seemed to quickly forget about my necklace. “You want to lie to me, Bitch!” He said angrily with clenched teeth. I resisted more now, my face became colder, i quickly realized it was because of the tears pouring from my eyes. 

 

“NO, NO STOP” I pleaded as loudly as I could now, nearly choking on my own words. He began to pull on my lace bra, the threads tearing one by one as he pulled it. His face was now above mine as he pressed into me, I tried to squirm away but couldn’t. He was too powerful, i couldn’t budge him even a little. His now heavy breathing was suffocating me with the wretched smell of alcohol and rot. It stung my nose as I attempted to catch my breath. I started coughing uncontrollably now, more tears poured fiercely down my face as I felt his other hand beginning to slide down my pants, underneath my panties then he curled his fingers upward. I managed to get some air, I screamed at the top of my lungs now, louder than I’ve ever screamed. This made him change course, he removed his hand, the other now readjusting, I felt the pressure of his heavy body release. This is when I pushed him away from me with all the strength I had within, his hand had been holding my necklace chain, and the push caused it to break, small chain links burst in every direction. he stepped only a few inches backwards, my weak arms hadn’t affected him much. I attempted to run but the recoil from pushing him set me off balance.

 

He recovered almost instantly and decked me with his shoulder in anger, the force of this hit sent me back into the railing and I flipped clear over it, my breath was completely knocked out of me. I attempted to inhale but my lungs didn’t react, a helpless whimper broke through my lips. I now tumbled downward over the edge, my silver charm tumbled with me, it was the only thing I focused on as I fell ever closer to the icy black abyss below me. I wondered if this might be it, even if I could climb back up, would he be there waiting for me? So many things bubbled through my mind before i hit the water. 

 

Then as I tumbled through the air I felt that my feet were the first to touch, before I knew it I was submerged. I thought I’d surely die, the water was like ice. I tried to swim upward but I wasn’t moving, my winter clothes and jacket encumbering me, as they were now heavy. The only thing I recall was the shimmer of my charm underneath the surface, the city lights above danced upon its metal as it drifted away into the brackish abyss that now engulfed me. This is when I thought I’d stop fighting, that my life didn’t have any further purpose, and maybe I didn’t need to be just another, unknown passerby in this lonely place of endless human craziness. I now felt myself drifting, pulled by the current, the freezing water pulled me ever closer to the ocean, it seemed to now make me numb. Oddly the strongest emotion i had was my distain for the salty taste in my mouth. The fighting and surviving stopped right here, this would be the end, it was determined. 

 

Then as my coveted silver charm, nearly faded from my view entirely, turning slowly to blackness, it exploded. Like a live grenade it burst into hundreds of pieces, sending a shockwave of vibration and what looked like light, coursing through my body and the water surrounding it. For a moment everything went purely silent. I noticed the water around me now lit up, as if a bolt of thunder just exploded in the sky above. This may have been the case because the rumble echoed underneath the water shortly after, bringing the sound back to this previously silent moment.

 

Before this I had decided i was done, that finally after all this time surviving I would finally give up. But now I quickly became frantic, my body became immediately warmer, something inside of me now begged me to fight, it burned like fire. I squirmed out of my heavy soaked jacket, then kicking off my boots, the cold water made my muscles tight as they attempted to push me upwards with all I had. And so I made one final push, breaching the surface and taking a deep, wanting breath.

 

I noticed I was many feet away from the concrete barrier that bordered the river, I glanced around for the man from before but seen nothing. Above me in the sky was the scene of a thunderstorm which began to manifest out of nowhere, the clouds were dense and the sky rumbled, something I was sure wasn’t there prior to my fall. I now searched the barrier for a way to climb up, and then soon found it. About 20 feet away from me, along the concrete wall were little hand holds, I could lift myself up out of the water, then use the railing above to pull myself over. I began to swim but I was swimming against the current, It felt like I was moving backwards with every stroke. I stopped and removed my sweater now, then swam again as hard as i could, but upon glancing up to check my progress I only made it a few feet closer. This is when I noticed the women, she was middle aged and looking down on me from the other side of the railing. She wore a long gray trench coat and seemed more dumbfounded than concerned, “help!” I yelled, the women didn’t answer at first, she gawked at me for a moment, then reached within her coat for something that looked like a stick, she waved it using it to get my attention, “swim hun!” I heard her say. 

 

The woman’s voice gave me strength. at this moment I felt like every stroke I made took me an entire foot, I reached the handhold in no time and climbed up, before my muscles were barely working, but now I felt good. I swung myself over the railing and onto the cold concrete. I now sat shivering and wet upon the hard ground. I was so overwhelmed at everything that just happened, I hadn’t an inkling of what to do next. I only felt remnants of the adrenaline that was moments ago coursing through my veins. The ice cold concrete pierced through my skin, I was now on my hands and knees. Water dripped from my hair and face, turning to frost as it touched the cold ground. I sat for a moment staring downward, reminiscing about how my determined screams for help went unanswered for so long.

 

The women then walked quickly up to me studying my face, inspecting it maybe to see if I was ok. “What?” I spat, feeling cold and afraid, “nothing hun, you just look… Never mind. Stand up, we need to get you warmed up!” she said with haste, she paused and looked up to the angry sky. “We need to get you out of here too it seems,” she added, removing her large coat and placing it over me, she started rubbing my shoulders as if to help warm me. 

 

“Hurry now, let’s get a taxi. You’ll be frozen solid in no time if we stick around out here,” the woman said as she helped me up. “Thank you,” I answered, my teeth chattering. I stopped for a moment to find my phone, I seen it laying next to my gloves, I noticed the screen was cracked i grabbed it. I then picked up my gloves put them on and we headed off. We’d made it two blocks and the woman hailed a taxi and we climbed in, the woman asked him to crank the heat, and explained I’d just fallen in the river. Oddly i hadn’t felt as cold as i figured i shoulf, I told the driver my address and we were off. I was just staring at my phone, my first thought was to call someone for help, but the first thing I did was check Rose’s location, again it said unavailable.

 

This was the end of the scariest moment in my natural life, but the exact moment it had changed forever. Though I didn’t know it right away. What am I fucking doing with my life? I thought, I was nearly raped, then i nearly drowned and all I could think about was my dirt bag cheating boyfriend, who was out for Valentines Dinner with my best friend.

 

Anxiety washed over me. I stuffed my ripped bra strap into the women’s jacket i was wearing, then put my phone away. “You’re going to be ok hun,” the woman said, she was mostly silent up until now. “Thank you again,” I responded, “oh, it’s not a problem at all hun” she said. Her calming voice made me feel better, distress got the best of me though, I started thinking about how my unofficial plan for the night was to stop at Alexander’s Café, my all time favorite place, and get a large strawberry banana smoothie, now even that was impossible as all my money was stolen. I had already begun to cancel my debit card from my phone app, all while navigating around the cracks in my screen. So all in all, the man had managed to get away with a few bucks, my gym membership card, an Alexander’s punch card that was 1 punch away from a free smoothie, oh and a fond memory he could touch himself to later. This was a Valentines Day to top them all.

 

 

“How did you end up in the water?” The woman asked, me being in the mood I was started from the beginning, and when I say beginning I mean from the first time I met James.  I went on ranting for a few minutes before I noticed someone i knew walking along a sidewalk as we drove past, it was Rose. I immediately stopped my rant and gazed onward, the look on my face must have been dumbfounded because the women said “hello?” And waved her hand in front go me, but i could only look through her. 

 

 

The weather had taken a turn for the worst, we hadn’t gotten any snow for a while. But now it was coming down like crazy, it was hard to even see a few feet ahead and there was even flashes of lightning and rumbling thunder. It was a strange occurrence for winter. But through all this I somehow could see Rose was walking out of what looked like a small Italian restaurant. She was nicely dressed in her exotic jeans and designer boots, her perfect blonde hair flowed effortlessly behind her, bouncing beautifully with every step she took. 

 

Her hand extended outwards now as she walked, reaching for another hand. It attached to someone who for a moment was hidden behind a partially opened door, but soon I realized the hand belonged to someone else I knew.  As my eyes panned over, I noticed the sleeves of a familiar gray p-coat, it was topped by a fluffy black scarf, which dangled elegantly over the mans chest. On his head a familiar matching beanie I had purchased myself, from underneath his p-coat peeked out nicely fitted blue jeans, that lay over gray and black shoes, shoes that I’d often seen sitting beside my apartment door.

 

As I knew but didn’t want to accept, it was James. I was miles away from the apartment in a neighborhood I never visited, but of course they would go out here. Even if… It’s New York City, nobody would notice anyway. Not even me! On any typical day with all the commotion, I could have just as easily passed right by them, as they sat casually in a café, whispering sweet nothings to each other. But somehow, now driving by in a quickly occurring snowstorm, I could spot them like a hawk in a crowd of people.

 

I felt a whirlwind of emotions building up inside of me, my survival instinct broke down, I had to get out of here, I was over all of this. “Stop the car!” I yelled, I said it again before the man had actually stopped. I opened the door and ran from the vehicle. I had to run now, it was the only way to stop myself from confronting them. I had given up on the idea that i didn’t care. I ducked through the nearest alleyway hurrying along to the next street over. I ran as fast as I could, sprinting across the next few streets. I barely avoided being hit by a car. Weaving through obstacles and stopped cars, crossing in and out through the busy people of the city. The woman’s jacket flapping behind me like a cape.

 

My erratic behavior went unnoticed by everyone, most eyes just naturally avoided me, just another random event in this crazy city. I sprinted through every do not walk sign I seen at full speed, my chest feeling like it may explode. Then I reached my block, thunder shook the air around me as I ran to the front door of my apartment building. With every ounce of stamina I had left, I darted up the 8 stories, dragged myself over to the hallway light, where I had hid an extra key for my door, and then I entered my apartment. I paused for a moment before closing the door, the feeling of being watched or as if someone was behind me was overwhelming. I turned quickly around, more spooked by the emptiness and eerie silence that I’d seen. I slammed the door, locking each lock as i went. 

 

I took a moment to breath then ran straight into my bathroom, locking that door behind me also, I was breathing heavily now almost uncontrollably, running as fast as I could from something I couldn’t fix or change. I hadn’t run that fast in all my life, I had thought. I felt like I was loosing my mind and began to shiver, realizing I was soaked I stumbled to the bathroom and drew a warm bath. Once the bath had filled I took off all my layers, tossing my ripped bra into the trash. Throwing my matching panties out along with them, purely out of necessity. I then got in the steaming tub and soaked for hours. 

 

Outside I could still hear the rumble of thunderclouds, the clapping of the thunder happened at the same time as the lightening. It almost felt like my apartment building was the epicenter of it all. I finally began to calm down as i sit in my warm bath, i was thinking, contemplating everything. James finally came home, his obsessive knocking broke my fleeting train of thought, I hadn’t even noticed my bath water had gone cold until he snapped me out of it. I got out of the bath quickly, wrapping myself in a towel, I was shivering again. Great, what was the point? I asked myself.

 

Running out in just my towel I unlocked the apartment door to let him in, “weird weather!” James commented, then asked how my night was but I didn’t respond to him at all. I wondered what he’d say if I asked him how his night went, maybe “I spent Valentines Day with rose, then I fucked her… twice, now here I am. I’m a fucking cunt, goodnight!” would be his answer, but I doubted it. I dried off, threw on some sweats and climbed into bed with every extra blanket I had laying around, curling up I faced the wall as not to have to look at James, knowing I was upset he ignored me and must have slept on the couch. I was so anxious from the events of the night, I didn’t think I would have slept a wink, but I quickly dozed off to the sound of the rumbling skies above. As I faded off to sleep, I remembered the woman who had come to my rescue giving me her coat, I thought maybe I shouldn’t have darted off so fast, and I wondered if I would see her again. Then i remembered the face of the man, he seemed tortured but kind in my memory, maybe all he did was out of desperation.

 

Soon I began to dream, i had never dreamed. This dream started off innocently enough. The thunder outside slowly transformed into the sound of waves brushing up onto a sandy shore, I looked around me realizing the white sand beach was surrounded by rocky cliffs. Warm air flowed gently through my hair, it felt comforting across my face. I stared out into the turquoise water for what felt like hours, the smell of salt and warm breeze made me feel content. soon something began to stir, protruding from the waves before me. I took a few steps back unsure of what it was. I realized it was a man, clad in armor. He was walking steadily towards me, my chest throbbed with subtle fear, I glanced around but i had no way out. When i turned back to look at him as if by magic he was now standing directly in front of me. 

 

Now that he was closer I could see barnacles growing from the armor he wore, it seemed as if a coral reef. “Who are you?” the man asked with some aggression. I didn’t answer and his brows flattened, the look of confusion fell upon his face. “You have to run!” he then yelled, I felt my face turn from surprise to a mixture of fear and confusion. He placed his hand on my shoulder, “You have to run now!” He yelled again, as he stared deeply into my eyes with his. he had dark blue eyes, unlike anything i’d seen before. They seemed deep like the dark blue of the open ocean. I turned from him, but what i seen was my city. Beautiful and massive and vast, but it was consumed by flames, the more i focused the more i seen. The city was being devoured in bright blue flames. People running in fear, screaming. But then in that moment a crash of thunder shook the entire building and i woke up,. 

 

I opened my eyes the next morning without hitting snooze for the 3rd, 4th or 5th time, like usual. I felt oddly refreshed for having such an intense experience. Something felt very different in me this morning, I didn’t feel like I had extra energy, no. This was completely different, I felt almost empowered but for no particular reason, like the entire world had opened up to me, and there was no going back. I followed my normal morning routine, climbing out of bed, getting dressed, doing my makeup. Today though, I decided to add hot red lipstick to the mix, mainly because I was just feeling it. James had still been sleeping by the time I left for work. At this point I planned on never talking to him again, he was officially just a roommate. I was being as quiet as possible, as I didn’t want to interact with him.

 

My trek to worked seemed normal enough besides the three feet of snow that fell last night. All i heard on the subway was chatter of the strange weather. “Like how weird! When have you ever known there to be a thunderstorm in winter?” i heard a girl say. The overwhelming feeling of being watched I had last night, didn’t subside, if anything it felt more intense. On my walk to work though, I’d felt drawn to a chipper old man of whom I locked eyes. He smiled as if he knew me, I oddly felt like I may have known him, something about him drew me to him. I shrugged this off until the second occurrence, I had the same feeling cross over me again. This time when the Subway car had arrived a very tall woman had walked in passing right by me, again I locked eyes with her. She smiled and nodded as if there was a connection between us. Nothing about her gestures were overly apparent, it’s just how it made me feel that stuck out. This is when it struck me as odd, because I was expert level at phasing the world around me out, and avoiding eye contact at all cost. This was just a skill every New Yorker had. Especially as I walked within the city and subway, but I continued on my way to work as if nothing happened at all.

 

This day’s oddness didn’t end there though. As I walked in to work Colleen was sitting at her desk grim as ever, she must have been hoping I was late, or did something, anything wrong, so that she could take her distain out on someone. Well it was her lucky day. Because my card and all my money had been stolen, and I wasn’t holding her morning coffee. A look I can only explain as being of pure evil, washed over her face with extreme prejudice. I could feel her brain trying to contemplate, whether this was reality or illusion now. As I inched closer she realized yes, I showed up to work without a large coffee, double cream, double sugar, with a dash of cinnamon and oh, it had to have the little stir stick plug for the drinking hole. 

 

What was going through her head now could only be speculation. How had she displeased the gods in order to deserve this? I felt her soul collapsing with each step I took closer to her, maybe she was thinking I’d magically pull the coffee from some hidden compartment within my body, with the expectant way she gazed at me. Maybe I could just walk nonchalantly by and she wouldn’t say anything, that was wishful thinking.

 

Walking steadily, I headed towards the filing room to organize all the case files which waiting patiently for me, to put them in their place from the evening before. “Where is my coffee?” Colleen asked, sounding as if she was holding back. “I’m sorry Colleen, I got robbed last night and I didn’t have the money to get anything this morning.” I answered politely. Her face seemed to grow redder, “oh…well couldn’t you have borrowed money? Maybe from your boyfriend or a friend” Colleen scoffed.  

 

I wanted to say “No sorry, they were too busy fucking each other, and spent all their money on the dinner prior!” But I settled with a subtle “no, sorry, nobody was around. I can go get it now though if you give me the money.” A vein grew on her forehead. We both knew it was frowned upon, to send someone out for coffee on company time. That’s why I had always picked it up for her on my way, or during breaks. “No, I’ll just go make my own” she said, trying not to combust. She got up and walked off to the lounge, where there was most likely a hot and ready pot of coffee waiting. I nodded and skittered past into my filing room.

 

Shortly after the coffee incident, I began noticing strange things happening. As I was placing files and digging up others to move, they seemed to just end up filed away where they needed to be, or taken out and placed right where I wanted them. I’d felt almost like I had moved or placed things without remembering, the big boss Joe, requested we write notes or corrected information on the files with pencil, just in case we needed to make a change or mention. I could have sworn when my pencil broke, it had mysteriously sharpened itself before I’d even stood up, and made my way to the sharpener across the room. No this had actually happened, because i noticed the pencil shaving siting next to the pencil.

 

 I had spent at least 2 minutes staring at it pondering, why was nothing making sense today. I blamed it all on the events of the night before, maybe hitting my head, maybe lack of oxygen when i almost drown and possibly my lack of Valentines Day sex also. Colleen had been miserable all day, treating me like a doormat more so than usual. I had eventually even been sent home early, a momentous second during my time here. I’d done everything there was to do and in record time. There was no need to have me on the clock, just to sit around and make Colleen angrier by the sight of my face. 

 

The commute home that day was similar to the morning, but the final bit was anything but ordinary. Again as I walked the busy streets of New York City, on my usual route home, waves of people passing forward, backward left and right swooshed past me unnoticed. Snow had still been falling all day, I had actually been specifically trying to ignore everybody this time. But a few stood out to me, giving me a surprised look like they were happy to see me, for some odd reason. Like they had some attractive Aura i couldn’t ignore. 

 

They would nod or make some kind of gesture at me, the most unnerving part of it all is. I’d felt something about them had stood out to me also. I hadn’t known what it was but I had felt it. Although there were always a few crazies around the city, this was not the norm. Here you were a ghost and people walked past you and seen through you as such, nobody usually cared who you were or what you were up to. Once I got off the subway, I had the off feeling I was being watched or even followed again, as it was much more intense and growing stronger than even before, like more eyes were on me now. I made my way home ignoring it best i could, as i reached the front door of my apartment building i noticed an envelope hanging from white string upon it. What was weird was the name written on the envelope “Ellie”. I grabbed it and looked around, i was readily freaked out now. I tore it open revealing a small piece of paper that read “Ellie, try not to freak out, -S” I looked around again and quickly made my way inside, i threw the note away before I made my way up the stairs. What could that possibly mean i wondered, if i didn’t feel watched before i certainly did now.  I made it up 8 stories worth of stairs, then walked around the corner to my apartment door. 

 

To my surprise, standing in front of my door waiting, stood the woman from the night before, looking for her coat I had inadvertently stolen. I had left work very early today, so it was strange to hear her say she’d been waiting for me. And it was strange that a note had been on the door below waiting for me now. “Can I ask your name?” the women said, “ummm, why do you want my name? Oh and did you leave me that note downstairs?” I asked, the woman paused, she looked at me in confusion and shook her head slowly from left to right. I guess that was a stupid question to ask, seeing as how my name was in the note left for me. “Hold on, i’ll go get your jacket” i added.

 

“I’m not here for the jacket,” she answered, i paused and stared at her “what are you here for?” i asked, praying she wasn’t going to say something crazy like “your shoe size” or “i thought you had nice skin so…” This was New York, nothing was out of the equation. But then the woman began to speak. “This might be a hard pill to swallow, but I think I might be your aunt!” she said, I burst out with a laugh “you’re my aunt?” I said, pausing “you help me out of the river one night, now all of a sudden I’m your long lost neice,” I added, the city was filled with some pretty crazy people, but until now I hadn’t been exposed to it first hand. 

 

The woman looked at me with disappointment, “look I’ll go get your jacket from inside, and I’ll bring it out and you can go, ok?” I asked, she didn’t answer just stared at me. This is what i get for speaking my address out loud to the taxi driver in front of some crazy lady who was walking around in the middle of the night. I began fumbling to find the door key that I quickly realized I didn’t have. I walked over to the hall light where the spare was typically hidden. Realizing I had taken it last night and used it to get in, “ugh”, I became irritated. I started back towards my door to knock, seeing if James was home. The women stepped between the door and I. “I had really hoped you would’ve been more polite than this!” she said almost feeling sorry. “Please move or I’ll call the cops!” I yelled, grabbing for my phone, I now felt cornered. “I just need to get into my apartment, and I’ll give you your stuff, I’ll even pay you for the taxi fare ok, just let me through crazy lady!” I yelled, she stared at me now firmly with arms crossed. “Leave me alone” i yelped, “So be it” the women said, moving out of the way as I grabbed the handle of my apartment door attempting to open it but it was locked. I reared my hand back to knock.

 

“Would you please, at least hear me out, we don’t have much time left before the decision is made!” the women said in a softer tone, before I could knock I sharply turned around facing her and said, “NO! No! I can’t hear you out, because last night I had valentine dinner plans with my boyfriend… Instead of dinner with me, he made other plans because I worked late. I took a walk then and got mugged, had all my things stolen, my phone broken and worst of all lost a necklace, that was the only thing i had from my parents, might I add who I had never met. And really, I don’t have time for crazy people, that throw false hope in front of my eyes. So no I can’t hear you out and I’d like to just get into my apartment, curl up in my bed and not talk to anyone for the next year!” I had felt a bit terrible after treating the person who rescued me this way, but i also felt better as I needed to vent, the woman crossed her arms and stepped out of my way. 

 

“If you want something, then you need just ask hun!” the woman said bitterly. She gave me an odd glance before pulling the same strange stick from her pocket she held the night before, my previous anger, now overshadowed by confusion. I may have shrugged and gave her a look. The woman gave an elegant little flick of her wrist, and with that motion my apartment door swung open! I jumped, as I was startled by the abrupt noise, then turned my head to look, in that moment my bedroom door also swung open by the same unseen means. 

 

But what I had seen, made my previous short burst of anger seem like child’s play. In front of me was James on top of Rose, naked and writhing together on my bed. Now lets stop right here, I’d known they were fucking, but I didn’t think it bothered me, boy was i wrong! After all I’ve done for both of them, always cleaning up after James messes, listening to countless hours of Rose talking about how much she loved herself, they were fucking in my favorite place to be too. I’d at least thought they kept it off of my bed. My entire body began to feel hot.

 

The noise of the opening doors startled them and I both! They looked up and directly at me, their faces turned white with horror. A scene that could only be reenacted by overdramatic acting in an old horror flick. James, as if superhuman, jumped up and off the bed, removing himself from inside of Rose. He turned back to grab the sheet from the bed to cover himself, unknowingly pulling them off of her. She now laid there naked and exposed for a moment, frantically reaching around for something, eventually she found my pillow to cover her naked body from view. I didn’t even take a moment to wonder how the doors swung mystically open. James was feverishly trying to explain himself, holding the sheets up with one hand to cover himself and his other hand palm out, as if to tell me to “calm down, while he explain”. Rose was just laying there, naked and dumbfounded. For the first time in her life she had nothing to say.

 

I knew this day would come but I never thought I’d be mad, I thought I would calmly accept it and move on. There was nothing further from the truth. I was enraged, I could feel my cheeks and ears pumped red with blood. My heart beat loudly pounding inside of my chest, what were before anxious butterflies in my stomach turned to ravenous wasps. I was so filled with rage my vision was blurred, I started stomping towards them. In my anger I felt the entire room start to shake, at first I thought this was from my stomping feet, my mind playing tricks on me, then out of the corner of my eyes I’d seen a picture of James and I fall off the wall. 

 

I glanced towards it, I noticed the women who called herself my aunt followed me into the apartment, a grave look over her face. I started stomping furiously towards both of them again, yelling every sort of obscenity I could at the top of my lungs, even making up some up of my own now. Rose was now cowering in the corner, my small pillow barely covering her perfect naked body. I’d actually accepted that i felt the room shaking now, i knew my feet couldn’t cause this much movement, but i couldn’t stop myself to think about it. I neared closer to my bedroom doorway.

 

Before I could reach the room, the door shut swiftly and loudly on its own. As if it was compelled to protect the unworthy souls from my unstoppable wrath. I screamed loudly. In that same moment I felt myself become weightless. I was now screaming louder and tried to turn around to look at my surrounding, i knew this had something to do with the woman, it was hard to maneuver to look around as I realized I was floating off of the ground now, feeling as if in zero gravity. I knew she was responsible for protecting them, now she’d feel my wrath. I was becoming angrier now, hate grew within me, many months of pent up rage and self hate was spewing out now, the apartment was shaking so badly that a kitchen cabinet fell clear off the wall, covering the floor with broken dishes. I knew I was the cause of it, and i didn’t care. This was the feeling of empowerment i had when i woke up this morning, this is what flowed through me i now knew. The woman made a gesture with her hand that was similar to telling someone to zip it, my screams became muffled against my will “You need to calm down immediately!” she commanded, looking around as if she was now frightened. With my voice muzzled I tried to yell “what the fuck are you talking about, you crazy bitch!” which I was sure she understood, by the look on her face. 

 

“If you don’t calm down, you will kill us all” she said sharply. But I was furious and incapable of turning it off now. There was absolutely no controlling it. I was floating a foot in the air but I couldn’t understand why, I only wanted to tear through the door that separated me from my nefarious friend and lover, but I was constrained and my voice contained, I didn’t understand what was happening in my anger, but I was also determined to free myself. I tried turning my head to look around, but toppled my entire body upside down, my head was angled at the floor, i noticed the worried look on the woman face was increasing to fear. I’m sure my face was red as a cherry now, maybe even about to pop. My muffled screams and upside down stature forcing all the blood to my head.

 

“Do you not understand what you’re doing?” the women yelled, still waving her stick around. I finally got upright from twisting and squirming vigorously, I was now attempting to twist my body and head to maneuver myself to my sealed bedroom door, from there I would claw my way through with my own hands. Everything in the kitchen was still shaking, the cupboards were opening and closing vigorously. When as loud as could be, I heard the women yell at the top of her lungs, “your mother would be livid right now!” when I had moved my body to look at her I was in shock, in the process I must have thrown my floating body off balance. Because I instantaneously flipped feet over head with an unreal amount of momentum, the side of my head hit the table next to me so hard that I instantly knocked myself silly, my vision blurred. The last thing I remembered was the ringing in my ears, and the figure of the strange women slowly walking towards me, and then the room trickled to black.